5 Ways to Increase Self-Awareness
As I was finishing up my session notes from a day of seeing therapy clients, I noticed a pattern. In almost every counseling session that day, I worked with the client on how to increase self-awareness. This thread crossed through the client with anxiety, the client seeking a career change, the client with a trauma history, the client seeking self-development… it didn’t matter what they were seeing me for, one of the most foundational efforts in my work, I noticed, was to help the client become more aware of why they were thinking, and behaving in a certain way.
If I asked you what you did this morning, you might say something like “I got up, had coffee, hopped in the shower, got dressed, had breakfast, and headed out for the day.” Great, and how long have you been using this or a similar morning routine? Probably forever, amiright?
For nearly my entire adult life I would sleep in until the last second, then rush through my morning because I had the idea that I was “not a morning person.” During my coaching certification program, we were asked to use a specific morning routine which caused me to be intentional with my mornings. I came to realize that I actually don’t mind getting up early, but I like to have a quiet and slow waking period and that my entire day has less chaos when I have a slow, intentional start to the day.
The only reason I didn’t know this about myself, is because I never bothered to ask myself why I labeled myself as “not a morning person”. I just took that label from my youth and rode it all the way into my 30’s. Ugh, what a waste of all those sunrises.
Many of our adult behaviors are unconsciously driven by information and stories we learned as children. Yes, the child brain that thought putting peas up your nose was a good idea, is the same brain that soaked up narratives from your childhood surroundings, and to this day, informs why you behave the way you do as an adult.
5 Ways To Increase Self-Awareness
In order to shift into more intentional living, you must increase your awareness of why you think and act in a certain way. This can seem like a monumental effort for little payoff, but I guarantee that the more you dive into understanding why you function the way you do, the more power you have to choose whether that is how you want to continue to function or if there is something better there for you.
Notice your thoughts
We all have a stream of consciousness running through our minds, for some, it’s chattier than others. As you try to increase your self-awareness, begin by noticing the thoughts, rather than just letting them pass by. This isn’t a time to judge your thoughts, just be curious about them. You might notice patterns such as:
I’m pretty mean to myself when I eat certain foods/snacks
I am not sure why that popped into my head but it happens every time I see that type of vehicle
Anytime I make a mistake I think “ugh I’m such an idiot.”
Be curious
As you notice your thoughts, these are some questions you can ask yourself
Hmm that’s interesting, I wonder why that is what I was thinking?
What does this remind me of?
Is this a thought that I truly align with?
Is there a thought that fits this situation better?
Scan your body as you walk
As you walk throughout your day, scan your body mentally from head to toe. Notice the placement of your head, do you push it forward, do you tuck your chin in. How do your shoulders feel? Do they rest low or are they up tight by your ears? Are you taking deep full breaths or shallow and short breaths? What are your arms and hands doing as you walk? Does anything in your lower body feel loose and free or tight and restricted? How do your feet touch the ground? Do you roll heel to toe? Do you supinate and walk on the outer edges of your feet?
We don’t spend much time paying attention to our body, but it has so much to tell us, and when you scan your physical self as you move, you might notice things that you can tweak to feel more free and comfortable in your body, and this increases your self-awareness
Pay attention to the observations of others
While it’s not healthy to focus too much on what others think of you, it can be helpful to notice external observations of our behavior. The other day I came into the living room and my son said to my daughter “you better move, that’s where mom always sits.” I had a “spot” in the living room and I didn’t even know it. When he said that I thought, oh yeah I do always sit there, but I don’t have to, and that allowed me to shift out of the pattern I was in of unconsciously choosing the same spot all the time. This is a harmless example, but unconscious behavior can be deeply hurtful to those around us if we are not aware of our behavior.
Choose a specific behavior and explore it in depth
Before entering private practice, I worked at a 9-5 job where I earned my bi-weekly paycheck. The money went into one account and I paid all of my bills from that account. When income stopped being so steady and the same amount every paycheck, I was forced to reassess the way I engaged with my finances. Never before had I questioned why I behaved this way with my money, but when I was forced to look at this behavior I realized that I could have been using a much more effective method for financial savings and planning.
Self-Awareness gives you options
What we think, how we behave. It’s all moldable. You have the choice to continue to think and function in the same way you always have - and hey, if it’s working for you, then keep doing you. Challenging yourself to have an increased sense of self-awareness though, opens up so many possibilities. You give yourself the gift of choice. Do these behaviors truly reflect who I am? Do these thoughts support me in being the highest version of myself? If not, the good news is that you can do something about it. If you’re ready to level up, click HERE to connect with me for a free consultation call.